You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize