I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
