I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
