is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
