Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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