is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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