oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just google imaged poop.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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