My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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