I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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