Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
A+ Viking dick
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
