your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just invented taco cereal.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
