This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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