Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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