It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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