We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
