You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
