if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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