Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
