it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
there was a trapeze. enough said
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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