is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize