I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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