There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize