We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
