What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Randomize
