Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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