this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
