You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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