These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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