No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
