In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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