After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
