Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
