Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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