and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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