Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
This can only be settled by a dance off.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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