when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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