Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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