We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
