Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
nutella sex= disaster
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You ruined the universe
Randomize
