Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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