Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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