He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
