I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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