a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
