i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize
