when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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