No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
