Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
