remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
