So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
