It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
