Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
