i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize