its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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