There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
