Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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