I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
