Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
