went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
And then he peed in my hair
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