real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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