Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
