i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
