idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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