I must be too annoying 4 u.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
