Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
