And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Randomize
