You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
