i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
