Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
