Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize