No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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