I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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