Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
