im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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